


would that i could keep you forever (but this will suffice)

by FeatheryMinx



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: M/M, Pining, i'm bad at writing romance sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27202094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeatheryMinx/pseuds/FeatheryMinx
Summary: Zuko misses Sokka. If only he had something to remember him by.(Sokka's not dead. Zuko justreally misses him. Zuko is gay.)
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24
Collections: Fic In A Box





	would that i could keep you forever (but this will suffice)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rimenorreason](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rimenorreason/gifts).



“Fuck!” Zuko cursed. He glanced at the paper in front of him, at the streaks of ink obscuring the figure underneath. Sighing, he crumpled it up and threw it into the wastebin under his desk. It landed atop a pile of similarly crumpled papers, all of which he’d thrown out in the past week. He was spending more and more time thinking about the drawings, and it was becoming hard to stop.

Zuko pulled out a sheaf of papers from inside his desk. Flipping through them, he smiled softly. There were sketches of lips curving up, of undone hair, nimble fingers gripping a braided hilt. There were eyes drawn in black but he knew the shade of blue they truly were. He sketched so he would have something to remember him by, but these early sketches were the best he could do. It had been too long, his memory too faded to let him draw the details that made the sketches _Sokka_ , instead of a random man.

He looked around his room again and noted how much of a mess he’d made while attempting to be an artist. It was better to leave the sketching for another time, preferably after he saw Sokka again, when his visage was fresh in Zuko’s mind instead of a faded imprint. Zuko put away his old sketches and closed the drawer.

He ventured out into the courtyard, where a timid servant brought him dinner. “Thank you,” he said, only for her to bow quickly and scurry away. Zuko bit his lip. It wasn’t as bad with the servants who’d been at the palace since his coronation, but the newer ones he hired or the older ones that he had re-hired after his sister’s short reign were still incredibly cautious around him. There was nothing he could do short of give them time. He knew that. It was still painful though, to watch them inch around him the way they had around his father.

Slowly, he picked at his food. Most of his rice he scattered on the ground around him, to feed the turtleducklings who kept him company. Eventually he set aside his half-eaten plate and flopped fully onto the soft grass. Something poked the top of his head. He reached back and pulled it aside, only to find his hairpiece in his hand. He’d have to get someone to help him fix the topknot later. Or perhaps not; it was late enough that he wouldn’t have to see anyone for the rest of the day.

Zuko pulled the rest of his hair free and closed his eyes. The soft rays of the evening sun were comforting, and the courtyard was peaceful. He didn’t get to relax this way every day. Even two years after the war, there was still an immense amount of work he had to do as the Fire Lord. He had no clue how his great-grandfather had found the time to start a war on top of every other duty the Fire Lord had. Or perhaps Sozin just hadn’t cared about being a _good_ ruler, only a “great” one.

He was just about to fall asleep when a jarring voice forced him to open his eyes. “Lord Zuko!” At the entrance of the courtyard was a servant. Not the new one who brought him his dinner, but Ineri, who’d been at the palace just a bit longer. “Lord Zuko, there’s someone here requesting to see you.”

“I don’t have anything else planned for the day,” he said in confusion.

“He said you’re not expecting him, but—”

“Can you have him come back tomorrow?”

“He’s insisting, My Lord. I can try, but…” she trailed off unhappily.

That was unacceptable. Zuko rose sharply, and said, “I’ll handle it, Ineri, no need to worry. Thank you for trying.” She nodded gratefully and began leading him towards the entrance hall of the palace, where his ‘guest’ was presumably waiting.

Just before they walked through the final set of doors, Ineri stopped and turned to Zuko. She gestured for him to raise his arms, and he did so, if with a little confusion. Swiftly, she tugged and plucked at his robes until they were straighter and crisper. She brushed off some of the grass that had stuck to him while he’d been laying in the courtyard, then moved behind him to tie his hair up. Zuko held up his hand, and she paused. “Looking presentable is one thing, but I don’t care to overdo myself for the benefit of this… unexpected visitor.” Ineri giggled, and left his hair alone.

Zuko strode through the doors of the entrance hall, and stopped dead in his tracks.

“Zuko!” said a familiar deep voice.

“Sokka?” he breathed, left speechless by the sight of the man he didn’t think he would see for months, if not years. Zuko rushed over to him, arms twitching in an aborted motion to hold the other man.

Sokka pulled him into a hug, and Zuko gladly reciprocated. When they pulled back, he asked, “What are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad to see you, but I just wasn’t expecting you until the next time everyone came by.”

Sokka handed him a rolled up letter. “Say hello to your new Southern Water Tribe ambassador!” Zuko looked rapidly between him and the letter of credence. Seeing Zuko’s confusion, Sokka explained, “The other guy was terrible, and Dad couldn’t think of anyone else who would be able to handle the mess that he left, and we already know each other so it just seemed like the best choice all around. Plus, it’s so much more fun this way, wouldn’t you agree?”

Numbly, Zuko nodded.

“Zuko? You good, buddy?”

“Yeah, sorry, I was still in shock.” He ran his hand through his hair quickly, then said, “Come on, let me give you a tour. Things haven’t changed too much, but the palace is a lot busier than it was last time you were here.”

“Lead the way, oh Fire Lord,” said Sokka as he reached out and took Zuko’s hand. Zuko almost tripped over his own feet, but managed to pull himself together. He tilted his head towards the rest of the palace and began showing Sokka around, rambling nervously all the while.

* * *

A week passed, then another, and another and another. The longer Sokka stayed in the Fire Nation, the more Zuko got used to his presence, and the faster time seemed to fly. They spent most of their time together, when Zuko wasn’t in meetings with his own cabinet. It was the most relaxed Zuko had felt since Uncle had gone back to running his teashop. Being the Fire Lord was good and well, but it was hard, going without anyone to talk to. Mai was with Ty Lee, Azula had gone running off to some island she heard legends of, and his mother had stayed in Hira’a. All he had to pass the time were his meetings, and his memories, at least until Sokka came.

Now, his days were spent sparring with Sokka, or out in the commercial districts shopping with Sokka, or in the palace planning things with Sokka.. Half the time, he and Sokka just sat in his room, poring over uninteresting papers, but being with Sokka made it tolerable.

It was one of those days, where Zuko sat reading yet another report and Sokka skimmed through whatever he found interesting, that Sokka opened _that_ drawer of his desk.

“Hey, Zuko, what are thes— What the hell?” Zuko had leapt out of his seat and grabbed the papers from him, wrinkling a few in the process.

“They’re nothing, don’t worry about them.”

“Nothing, huh?” Sokka reached for the papers, but Zuko moved further away. “They’re not nothing if you won’t let me see them,” he cajoled.

“They’re personal,” Zuko gritted out.

“Oooh!” Sokka waggled his eyebrows. “Personal? I see, I see. I’m surprised you kept that in your official Fire Lord business work desk.”

Zuko could feel the heat rushing to his face. Could he bend it away? Probably shouldn’t experiment with that now. “It’s nothing like that!” he protested, but Sokka ignored him.

“I’ll get back to my work, and act like nothing happened, because I’m _such_ a good friend. Don’t you agree, _Zuko_?”

“Fuck off, Sokka.”

“Whatever you say, my lord.” Zuko had to turn away at that. He knew Sokka was joking, but Agni be damned, those kind of jokes were going to make him burn up, burst into flames and die right there.

They worked for a bit longer, until it was dinnertime. “Sokka, I can hear your stomach rumbling. Get out of here, go ask the cooks for some food. I’ll join you in just a bit, after I finish this last thing.”

“Let me help you, it’ll get done faster and then we can both go.”

“I’ve got it. Go, I know you want to.”

Sokka acquiesced, squeezing Zuko’s shoulder on his way out. Zuko waited until he heard the door close behind him, until Sokka’s footsteps receded, then took out the stack of sketches he had rescued earlier. He hadn’t looked at them since the last day he tried drawing Sokka. He hadn’t needed to; he had the real man right in front of him. But Sokka wouldn’t stay forever, and… he didn’t want to lose the details the way he did last time.

Taking out his brushes, he started drawing, just quick outlines he could detail later. But when he pulled back and looked at them, they didn’t look anything like Sokka. Fuck, not even his original sketches looked like him. It was clear how inadequate they were, compared to the actual man. But there was nothing he could do about that, not now. He locked away the sketches in his fire-lock safe, then went to join Sokka for dinner.

* * *

Time continued passing, quicker than Zuko had thought possible, and soon there were just days left until Sokka departed back to the South Pole. Sokka would come back, sure, but after having Sokka in the palace, Zuko didn’t know how he’d go back to the loneliness that was his life before.

They walked through the halls of the palace, Sokka stopping at least once a minute to chat with the passing servants. Zuko watched fondly as he did so. He leaned against the wall to wait for Sokka, and his eye fell on the multitude of portraits that lined the walls. An idea formed in his head, and he set his plan into motion later that night, sending a discreet request out with one of the palace runners.

The next morning, Zuko got up and, instead of meeting Sokka at the morning meal, marched over to his room and knocked on the door. When it opened, Zuko both regretted and applauded his decision to change up their routine. Sokka leaned against the doorway, yawning and, most noticeably, shirtless. “Zuko?” Sokka asked blearily. “What do you want?”

Zuko curled his fingers into his clothes before he could do something stupid. “We have things to do today,” he said as evenly as he could. “Get dressed. And dress _well_ , please!”

“What, you mean I can’t do things like this?” Sokka said, striking a pose. Zuko averted his eyes, and Sokka laughed. “Prude. I’ll be out, give me a few minutes.” He closed the door on Zuko, who was struggling to forget the sight of Sokka posing. If only Zuko could let him stay shirtless for this, he thought wistfully.

When Sokka finally came out, Zuko led him to breakfast. “Don’t eat anything messy.”

“Zuko, why do you care so much what I look like today?” He looked panicked. “I didn’t forget something, did I? Are we meeting someone, is there an event today?”

“No, Sokka, nothing like that. I promise you it’s important though, so just listen, please?”

“Since you asked so nicely, of course.” Sokka smiled sweetly at Zuko, who rolled his eyes.

Once they’d eaten, Zuko led them to an open room, where a woman was waiting. In front of her lay a blank canvas.

“Zuko. What is this?”

“A portraiture session?”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Please? I want to replace the paintings of all the other Fire Lords. What better way to do it than this? I’m going to get portraits of everyone else too.”

“If you’re going to replace them, start by getting a portrait of yourself!”

“I’m not going to replace one Fire Lord with another, that’s not what I want this to be.”

“Come on, Zuko. You’re more than just another Fire Lord, and you know that.”

Zuko sighed. “Fine. I’ll get them to make a portrait of me. But I’m not doing it alone. If I can’t refuse, neither can you.”

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Excuse me… I don’t mean to interrupt, but is someone going to sit, or…”

Zuko and Sokka both turned to see the painter, who they’d forgotten was in the room. Sheepishly, Zuko said, “My apologies, Madam Aiwa. It looks like we won’t be able to today. Could you return tomorrow, and bring another painter from your company along with you?”

She looked between the two of them, then nodded. “Of course. I will see you two tomorrow.”

* * *

Over the course of the next few days, Zuko and Sokka both sat for their portraits. They did other things as well; they performed the duties that they had, and spent time together as they usually did. But in addition to their normal routine, they spent two or three hours each day letting Madam Aiwa and her associate create portraits of them.

The day of Sokka’s departure, they were sitting at the entrance of the palace when a breathless runner came to them. “Delivery. For you. Lord. Zuko,” he panted. The boy held out two scrolls, each about a forearm’s width wide. They were tied with ribbon: one blue, one red.

Zuko took the scrolls gingerly and thanked the runner. When he was sent off, Zuko looked to Sokka. “Shall we?” Sokka nodded.

They each held their own scroll, ribbon untied. But when they unfurled them, Zuko’s eyes went not to his own portrait, but instead to Sokka’s. Agni bless him, it was gorgeous. Sokka made a small appreciative noise. “Yeah,” Zuko agreed breathlessly. Then he pursed his lips. Hesitantly, he looked at Sokka, who was now looking over at his portrait. “Do you…” Sokka looked at him, and Zuko couldn’t find the courage to ask what he really wanted. “Do you like it?” he said finally, reaching over to touch Sokka’s scroll.

“Yeah,” Sokka said softly. “I do.” Then he rolled it up and tied it off with the ribbon again, and passed it to Zuko. “But I don’t need this; what would I do with a portrait of myself when I’ll always have my beautiful face with me?”

“I’ll keep it then. Here, I mean. Replace the other ones and all that.”

Sokka laughed lightly. “Yeah, I’m sure you will.” He took Zuko’s portrait from him and rolled that one up as well, but instead of handing it to Zuko, he slid it into his bag. Then, Sokka leaned over, took Zuko’s face in his hands, and kissed him. Zuko stiffened in surprise, but quickly snapped out of it and kissed him back. When Sokka pulled away, both of them were grinning wildly.

“You’re not subtle, Zuko. You—and I quote—‘want to replace the portraits of your ancestors’?”

“Hey! I absolutely would replace them with you. Anytime.”

Sokka kissed him again. “I know that, idiot. But the canvas Madam Aiwa had wasn’t anywhere near the right size for a wall portrait. You really thought I wouldn’t notice that?”

Zuko blushed. “I thought it worked… You agreed.”

“Only after I made sure a portrait of you would get made as well.” Sokka stood up, pulling Zuko with him. “This portrait”—he tapped the blue ribbon—“is for you to remember me by while I go home. And this portrait”—he patted his bag— “is for _me_ to remember _you_ by. Because I’m going to miss you too.”

Zuko leaned in until his forehead touched Sokka’s. “But not forever.”

“No,” Sokka agreed, “not forever.”


End file.
